Could you please tell me what you think of this excerpt from my story?

“Why?” I asked, shaking hard in my attempt to restrain myself. Dark rage seethed my voice, but it was unable to hide the desperate pain. The loss. The emotional agony.



“WHY?!” I roared, charging him again. Julian easily sidestepped me, but I spun around in an instant and my fist met the side of his face. I had never felt anything like this before. I had been angry, I had been hurt, but never like this.



I felt like there was a huge, acid filled hole where my heart should have been, beating cold, black blood into my veins. Fire snarled in my chest and throat, burning up my insides. No amount of yelling or hitting was going to make it go away. My hands were itching to shred his flesh, and my eyes were stinging as fresh tears threatened to fall.



It didn’t exactly help when Julian began laughing.



“Why?” he mocked, casually brushing his cheek where I had struck him. “Whatever do you mean?”



The room was tinted red and my ears rung furiously. I suddenly felt the strange urge to dig my nails into his skin and see those drops of crimson spill agonizingly slow.

I growled, self-control slipping fast. Hands balled into fists so tight they turned my knuckles white shook at my sides.



“Why did you have to do it?!” I demanded, murderous intent lacing my tone. “Why couldn’t you just let me have this one thing!”



Now it was Julian’s turn to be angry.



“One thing?” he repeated, outraged. “One thing!? Don’t you DARE try and turn this around so people pity you!”



“IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!” I snarled, grabbing him by the front of the shirt and shaking him roughly, barely resisting the urge to snap his neck right then and there. “DON’T YOU GET IT? This has nothing to do with me!”



“Who then?” Julian smirked, feeding the flames. “Who could possibly touch that hole you call a heart enough for not everything to be about you for once?”



“HER!” I yelled, throwing him to the ground. “THE GIRL THAT’S LAYING IN THERE WITH A BULLET IN HER CHEST! THE ONE YOU ****ING SHOT!”



I felt like I was going to throw up. Saying those words brought the whole truth crashing down on me once more.



She wasn’t going to make it. She really wasn’t going to make it this time. No matter how fast they moved, there was no way she would be able to pull through.



Not this time…all those times before…she had always been so strong…and now it was over…everything we had worked for, everything she had dreamed for, everything that could have been…



It was over.



I wouldn’t be seeing her smile anymore. I wouldn’t ever hear her laugh ever again. I wouldn’t hear her tease me when I knew I was being an idiot.



No more nights spent watching the stars, listening to her talk about the dreams she hoped to fulfill, because those dreams had been taken from her. No more plans over where we were going to go or what we were going to do once things got better, for now things would never be better. No more holding her at night or falling asleep to her heartbeat, because now her hands were cold and her heart was still…



I didn’t realize I was crying until I saw the look of shock on Julian’s face and my brain finally registered the tears flowing down my face. I did nothing to stop them. I knew it would do no good.



“I loved her…” I whispered, voice cracked and broken. I could barely stand, I was shaking so hard. “I really loved her…”



And I never even got the chance to say it.



Wow. This is by far the most depressing part of my story to date. It's a rough draft version, of course. This scene is supposed to be very powerful, and really upsetting to the reader. So, did any of you get sad by reading it? I know it would have more effect if you knew the characters but I tried my best, eh?

Thanks!Could you please tell me what you think of this excerpt from my story?
That was great!! It is a rough draft so I can understand that part :D. Keep building it and yes it was upsetting for me to read. I can feel the main character's anger and sadness. You nailed it!! Also the only thing I can suggest is you have to many capitals, just put 'em in lowercase with a ( ! ) at the end so the reader and understand that the character is yelling. Also I had no idea were the scene was taking place so my mind put them in a public laundry room in a apartment. You can decide where to put them but that's were they were in my mind. :D You are an awesome writer!!Could you please tell me what you think of this excerpt from my story?
Extremely intense, I liked it though. It did seem upsetting. Your description of the scene was amazing. From that except I have two comments.

1. Keep on writing

2. Wish I could read more
it was really good. very intense and expressive. i loved it. i pictured it on a brick road in front of an old church while it was threatening to rain.