I have been dating a guy for a year and a half and he recently broke up with me 2 weeks ago through text. We are both 18. It killed me...but I saw it coming. We were going through hard times in our relationship. At first, we were the couple you would find never arguing..always happy but then the last couple months things went downhill. He goes to a different school than I do and my best friend also happens to be friends with him and go to the same school. Well I started to have trust issues with him as soon as I saw friends around me cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends and people getting hurt so in my mind I figured he was doing the same. Everything he did seemed more personal. He always hangs out with other girls (alone sometimes) and then since i started realizing everyone else treating their lovers wrong...i thought he was doing the same so i asked him and pressed it upon him and he got upset because i was';letting others get in my head';. then months later...he went to one of his school dances and i had my friend spy on him just to make sure he was behaving. Well it turns out he was grinding with girls. I asked him about it later and he got mad cause i had people spying on him like he was a little kid. he kept denying it and denying it and saying i wasnt there so i dont know. he lied at first and said he bumped into her and then he was ';closely dancing'; without touching. i messaged the girl who he grinded with and she immediately apologized. i knew he lied. then i confronted him about it and told him she apologized...he broke up with me and said we can try it again later. he said we just needed time to figure things out. 2 weeks have passed and were still arguing even though were not together. he still goes out and hangs with girls he claims are just friends and he said he just doesnt want me tying him down from his friends. he said it has nothing to do with moving on because he doesnt want anyone else but me. hes getting yelled at by his family and his coaches at track and i want to be there for him so badly but he wont let me in. he said he will come around to me when hes ready. i dont know what to do. its so hard to give him space like i know i should. we still love each other, i just want to make this work. oh and by the way it makes it real hard cause we work together..so we have to see eachother. help! what should i do? how should i act around him?I am stuck, what can I do?
It seems like at first you gave him room but then you started to invade his privacy. That is not normally ok depending on the person. However, he was hanging out with other women alone. There is nothing wrong with this unless he didn't tell you first. A simple ';hey I'm going to hang out with _ _ _ _ _ today'; would suffice to let you know about it. If he did do that then the only thing you can do is trust him.
Making him jealous could work. Hang around your guy friends more, maybe talk to new guys. I wouldn't go so far as to flirt a lot with them, but just let him know that you are spending more time around OTHER guys and he may see them as a threat. If he doesn't then you may either have to wait it out and see, or leave him for good.
This dancing and grinding issue could be over exaggerated but I sure as hell wouldn't do any close dancing that would come off like that with any other girl. Last I checked you don't have to be 1 inch apart to dance together. Unless it was for a dance class or a competition.
These things can take time and i understand your cause for alarm. Hope he comes around... BOTH of you apologize (not one of you...) and that you both get together again if thats what you truely want.I am stuck, what can I do?
make him jealous...act like u dont care...us guys dont like girls begging for attention...if you act like u dont care he will be like wtf cuz right now you are wrapped around his finger and he knows it...
Make him feel bad. guilt always wins in these suitations and teaches him a lesson too
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