How To Deal With 13 Y.O Girl?

She is rude to everyone, she insults her father because he's never been one to punish and she thinks she'll get away with it, she is downright lazy, sits and watches TV or plays Sony all day and backchats if you ask her to make her own sandwich or if you ask her to simply turn her bedroom light off when she's not using it, god forbid we ask her to get off the couch!, She has her head completely in the clouds. She has become addicted to Hollywood, Stardom, Gossip and Music Video's, she wants to dominate table discussion and it has to be about the latest Hollywood gossip, and how she is going to go to Hollywood to meet the stars.Thing is, we are a practical Aussie family, working class and level headed, I cant tolerate being spoken down to by my 13y.o because I dont have the same opinion on Britney or Paris, I absolutely will not stand for her being rude to her father who worked hard all day to pay the bills. And most of all I want to ground the girl, bring her back to earth.How To Deal With 13 Y.O Girl?
I think you need to sit and pay attention to your faults as well. We all think it is always the fault of the child but sometimes it is our fault as parent. How close to her are you? I think you need to accept the fact she is 13 and forget the fact that when you were 13 you were not such an airhead. Times have changed. I think she watches too many of these reality tv shows that are so bad for teenagers nowadays. How much do you know about her life outside of home? How much do you know about her friends? I think you should put your foot down about her disrespecting her father, about her watching tv all day and about school. You and your husband have to be one together. You husband can't allow it either. You just can't be the only one to stay up for him, actually you should not even interfere. It only makes him look worse. He needs to be the man of the house and say something to her, putting aside the feelings of love for her. I am sure you love her just the same. He can't be soft in this situation. About her watching TV all day, you can easily cancel cable service. Afterall you pay the bills. You and your husband should not care about staying without cable for a month or two. What do you care most? Her well being or these crazy shows they have nowadays in TV? this includes internet cable, or place a password if you really need the computer. You need to be close to her, talk to her, become 13 with her, and have fun with her. Go places with her. Talk to her, and let her say calmly anything she is holding in. Even if it means she has to say that you are mean and so on. You need to listen the reasons why, and maybe even say sorry even if you are not. She will be shocked and really believe that you are actually wanting to be close to her. SHe will listen to you and respect you more. Do fun stuff with her. Don't criticise her about everything. Ask her to help you clean her room, Don't do it for her. DO it with her. Play music loud in the background whatever she likes, and be silly too. If you don't become a friend to her, you will have it very difficult with her. She will rebel one day or another. Ask her about her friends , what do they like, what do they do. Act like a teenager yourself with her, but put your foot down not yelling at her but making sense to her, about bad language or disrespect and so on. Make her feel bad about her father, say he is so nice to you why would you talk to him like that, that s fine if you talk to me like that because I am a little more difficult but why him?? That s ok if you are putting yourself down a little. She is your child. If you don't connect with her now, you never will. Try this way, You will be more happy and she will care about you more and change her attitude totally. Make sure though you change first, in order for her to change. Make her do good in school, then slowly give her things she wants as rewards, go to places she wants and so on. School is most important.How To Deal With 13 Y.O Girl?
Take away everything. TV, computer, cell phone, video games, etc. Let her have absolutely no privileges. Tell her she can't go out with her friends. School and home. That's it. In her room, take everything but the bed and dresser out.



She'll learn.



If possible, get her a job working at a soup kitchen or working with mentally disabled people. Some type of community service job. That will let her see another side of life besides glamorous.
Omg if my child acted like that she'd never see the light of day. I'd take everything she lvoed away including the darn tv. Her phone would be shut off, and she'd never get to see her friends. Infact i'd start handmaking all her clothes so she looked like a nerd!
I agree with the first post take EVERYTHING away and if she speaks to you like crap i would give her a slap! She is not the boss, you are!



I was a very difficult child myself at that age but not that bad, my mother was very strict on me and started taking everything away, she grounded me and if i spoke to her in a horrible manner i got a slap across the face for it, i tell ya now i learnt very quickly!



Now looking back i cant believe i treated my mother like that, it was very disrespectful and if my children ever spoke to me the way i spoke to her i would do the exact same thing, it seem to work pretty well.
Kids like boundaries and they also like to rebell to see how far they can push those boundaries. The further they get in pushing, the less respect they have for the boundaries and for those whom they see as responsible for setting the boundaries.



I agree to take away TV. I would also get the paddle out and give her few across the backside. I would make it clear that the next infraction will incur another physical punishment and also additional loss of privilidges. Explain what they are going to be and make sure you stick to it.



You also need to make sure that you make it clear what is acceptable behaviour. I would say at 13 it is better to err on the strict side and then relax the rules as she matures. I had pretty strict parents - Certainly no back chat. All meals at the table and dress for meals in decent clothing. Must not start eating until everyone served. Must not finish first or keep people waiting by eating really slowly.



On the talking bit, no talking unless first asked by an adult.
sounds this probably started over a period of time, and dad not helping has caused her to be spoiled. I would run, not walk, her to counseling before it gets worse, because I do think it will get worse when she drives.
You cannot and should not stop your daughter from talking about what she happens to be interested in. It is normal at her age to dream about stardom and follow the lives of the people who are held out to be stars. But that does not mean that your daughter can be rude to her parents and lazy about chores. This may be a bit late in her life, but it is time to set up clear rules about proper behavior for her in your house - such as no profanity, no sneering, no direct disobedience, doing chores as dtermined by the family. There should also be strict rules about punishment for not abiding by these rules. Grounding and taking away TV, internet and phone is one option, but your daughter is not too old for a good paddling either. At least that might be an option that brings her to her senses quickly. Please get your husband to form a united front with you on this issue. Your daughter may resent your change of course now, but she will be grateful later.
Sounds like Dad needs grow up, actually. Try leaving a copy of ';Manhood'; by Steve Biddulph around. If you could solve this, you would have by now. I think your daughter is going to stay this way until her dad mans up. There is more to being a man and a father than paying the bills. Useful and worthy as that is!
hey there

well im 13 years old teenage girl too.

but to be perfectly honest ive never treated my parents that way.



i think that maybe taking away privileges would be a good idea.



also if shes into hollywood and glamour try having discussions about it. if thats her interest all she wants is to be able to discuss them with someone close to her . ie. you.



look at what you and your husband are doing.

maybe you made a mistake and this may be the cause (or at least part of it)



one day she will thank you for it.



i know i would :]





hope that helps

x
Well maybe if you disciplined her properly as a child, now she is 13 what exactly do you expect? Its a little late to start the discipline which should have already be taking place and as a parent you should know what to do and not come ask here. But since you did, strip her room bare, take everything lock it away until she earns it back, make her go volunteer somewhere so she can learn that life isnt all that great for everyone, dont let her go out, watch tv, internet, or phone until she earns privaliges back, make her do chores..be the parent